The empty tank

I would like to bring to the notice of all the readers of my blog, from which ever part of the universe they belong to, that the views expressed here are my personal ones and any suspicion on the part of anyone regarding this referring directly or indirectly with malignant interest to anyone in this universe or any other, if it exists, could only be an illusion.

Have you ever sent your bike via Indian railways parcel service? If no, please don’t do. If yes, please don’t waste your time reading this, coz u probably know what I am up to here. For all those who are thinking of giving your much loved bike a ride on the Indian Railways, my advice is that you better drive your bike to the place where you want to take it, be it from Kerala to Kashmir or Pakistan where ever.

We have to empty the petrol tank before packing the bike. You might think what is the big deal in emptying a bikes’ petrol tank but the accompanying condition is that the bike should not come alive once you give it the kick. Now, this could be difficult, if you have not tried. I learned one disadvantage of the so called very fuel efficient Indian bikes on a day when I Went to transfer my bike back to my home town from where I did my studies. No matter how much i tilt the bike and try draining the tank, the bike would still start when I kick. I drove around the taxi stand near the parcel booking office as a next step in trying to empty the tank. The bike would stop at the farthest spot from the office and I had to get down from the bike and push it till the office, find the guy to certify that the tank is empty, but the bike won’t give up so easily, it would start. I drove three times like this but the bike had already found fun in deceiving me by stopping at the farthest point from the office and starting with the slightest kick on the kicker when I tried to convince the guy that the tank is perfectly empty.

The next step was to try and dry up the tank by idling the bike on its main stand. I started the bike and stood looking for any hints of petrol drying out. By that time I had caught the attention of almost everyone standing there. I knew that if I continued my activities there they might send for a psychiatrist. So to prevent further embarrassment I decided to do the petrol emptying trick at some place which was less infested by people and come back after making sure that the bike won’t start. Thus at the end of almost an hour after reaching the parcel booking office I succeed in emptying the tank completely. Now you should not get the impression that I am trying to establish that this rule of emptying the tank before booking is wrong nor am I trying to promote Bajaj brands by telling you how fuel efficient they are. In fact this rule is a “must follow” one coz its dangerous to leave petrol in the tank while transferring the bike, and Indian Railways is fully justified in forcefully implementing this rule. My full support to Indian Railways. Its just that my day was a bad one.

So as the day was bad, more was coming my way. After the tank emptying work I was dead tired and was nearing “Fainting point” due to the immense hot conditions. The “Fainting point” was touched soon when the porters announced that they require only Rs 500 to pack my bike. They explained to me how difficult it is to pack with sack and straw! I learned that negotiation, which is an important skill to be possessed by a manager (according to professors of my institute), can be so difficult when you have two porters on the other side. They finally settled for Rs 350. They directed me to go to the officer, get the form and fill it.

At the counter I struggled my way through people who were already there. I too inserted my head, amongst many others, into a small window at the counter, which was the only opening through which you can communicate to the officer. Everyone was trying to catch the attention of the officer by asking the procedure for booking, asking for forms etc, I too did the same. The officer was deeply immersed in writing something as if he was lying on the paper face down and he refused to look up. By looking through the window I could only see my reflection on the officers’ bald head and not his face. I summoned up all my remaining strength and shouted at the top of my voice, “one form to book my bike sir”. Then as if by magic I heard a voice “what for?, It took sometime for me to understand that the sound came from this faceless officer. Thus communicating with this faceless man I gathered that form will be issued only after I get the bike packed.

When I returned to my bike after my mission at the counter, the porters were stuffing my bike with straw. They were working like they were trying to tame a fighting bull, one porter held one end of the rope, the other pulled at the other end. They would place their feet on the knee guard and tighten the knot as if they are playing tug of war.Thus after much difficulty they succeeded in taming the bull. I decided to start the game of communicating with the faceless officer and try to get a form. When I reached the counter the officer got up. I was happy to see his face and thought that he finally decided to be a bit friendlier. He got up, stretched and said “Lunch time sonny, come after 2’O clock”

After all these hard work, I succeeded in getting my bike ready for the journey by around 3’o clock. After two days I went to the railway station to collect my bike. I had with me a bottle of petrol to start my bike. When I was pouring the petrol, I saw another guy collecting his bike, he had sent the bike just like me from somewhere but the difference was that, his bike was intelligent enough to keep some petrol in some hidden reservoir of the tank and deceive the officer of that railway station. I stood there watching the guy start his bike with ease and drive away.

Next version soon.........